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Journal

Alicia's Prayer

Alicia Smith

Thank You Lord for giving me hope!

In my despair I struggle to cope.

The battle seems to never end.

I've lost myself once more again.

I can't see much from this point on.

My future is there, but is also gone.

I'm sorry for my fragile heart. 

I've had to mend it from falling apart.

Since You are Great, and I am small.

Can You help me climb over this wall?

I built it so many years ago.

Hoping to keep out those who are foe.

The path You have lovingly paved,

Leads me through some darker days.

I won't fear for my precious life!

Knowing, You are my guiding light.

If there's a lesson for me to learn.

Is it a chapter to finish? A page to turn?

Will I grow stronger not knowing why?

Or are answers for those when they die?

I'm done writing, so now I'll pray.

Ending this night to start a new day.

I know the devil is laying in wait,

But I've been protected for the Good Lord's sake.

-Alicia Smith

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"For The"

Alicia Smith

For the many that stay... Thank you everyday.

For the ones gone away... It's better that way.

For the memories full of love... I thank God above.

For the nightmares I've overcome... Satan's the failed one. 

For the peace that's entered my life... Time made it all right.

For the bitterness that never owned my heart... Forgiveness mends what falls apart. 

By: Alicia Smith

Stop

Alicia Smith

Sometimes you just need to stop

Stop over-thinking, stop planning, and stop expecting.

To stop”, (in essence or action) means to do nothing or to prevent, but stopping can also allow progression to take place in peoples lives. A meaning some may never comprehend because they can’t accept the required actions that “to stop” demands for them to perform.

Some antonyms of stop are: start, begin, continue, and keep on.

Well, you can “start” something and never finish it. You can “begin” to fall. You can “continue” down a wrong path, and you can “keep on” making mistakes.

“Stop” doesn't carry such a negative connotation anymore, now does it?

Lets “start” to stop allowing negativity to come into our lives and think with a more positive attitude. Lets “begin” to stop expecting and be open to what life can offer us each individually. Lets “continue” to stop walking down dangerous paths by making better choices every day.

May we all stop and “keep on” smelling the roses, and never let anything good in our lives be dismissed because of planning too far ahead.

 

Written by, Alicia Smith (No alcohol was consumed in the process of blogging this letter) lol

Dear Whoever,

Alicia Smith

Whoever you are

(Even if you're a world apart) Whatever love you find, find it with your heart.

Whoever you are

Cherish what you have. Whichever life you choose, find the good not the bad.

Whoever you are

Life is too short to hate. What you hold inside seals your fate.

Whoever you are

Why step through life looking back? When staring too long leads you off track.

Whoever you are

Where the road dead ends you can still start again… and again… and again.

Whoever you are

Are you ever who you thought you would be?

If so, whoever you are live your life as you please.

 

Author:

Alicia Smith (and a glass of blue raspberry vodka)

A Bible, a Journal, and a Six Shooter Gun

Alicia Smith

The few things I’ve turned to for answers in my life:

The Bible… I was raised on and have come to find my own personal faith in Jesus Christ.

My Journal… Given to me by my friend Jessica as a Christmas gift 4 years ago.

A Gun…

All theses items sit in the top drawer of my bedside stand.

Just like everyone else in life, I’ve been through struggles and have tried to find a way to channel my pain. I don’t have an addictive personality so the form of relief constantly changes. The Bible keeps me focused. My journal keeps me from being in denial about anything if I’m having to spell it out on paper and a gun is for protection.

My journal has many details about my past relationships. I haven’t felt driven to write anything in the last few months. I’m sure I’ll play catch up soon. Not that my grandchildren (If I even have children someday) would be interested in hearing about their old grandma’s drama. Ha Ha Ha

Being raised on the Good Word has kept the gun facing the direction it was designed for. I named my gun, Irony. Luckily, I’m writing this so that means the Word has had more pull than the trigger on any gun I’ve owned.

The song I wrote about the “Midnight Train” is a true story. It’s about me.

My family and friends in Florida remember the story of “Suzie Parks”. I’ve made my mistakes. I have been Baker Acted. Which in legal terms means, the doctor has the authority to refuse civil rights to their patient if they feel the patient can bring harm to them self. Worst day of my life when I was 20 years old. I’ll always regret allowing anxiety and frustration get the better of me. Never again. Irony hits hard when all you want is to live without suffering but almost die in trying to find relief.

The gun has played a critical part in my depressions (several times). The devil tried his hardest in Chattanooga hahaha… but couldn’t even win with alcohol on his side paving a fatal way.

I’m writing this with no shame. I know everyone has felt similar pain. That’s probably why I channel my emotions through a medium that can reach others in the best way= Music   

The reason for all of this personal exposure is to reflect on what I’ve overcome. Why I chose certain resources of relief over others? We all must learn like a human was built to do. I will be something bigger than the stories in my journal, the gun that never went off, and the vain religion that has no depth. I can be stronger than my weakest moments. Pages will still turn and a gun will never look me straight in the eye again. My life is more than the pain I have suffered… it’s the beauty of everything in it that has the power to cause the suffering.

From the heart,

Alicia

“Any new business wants to hire a CEO who has failed and overcome. That way the CEO can see trouble within their company when it draws near. Other than a CEO with a clean slate who has yet to blunder”- Unknown

To You (I Can’t Name)

Alicia Smith

I’m so angry with you, but can I tell the truth?

 

You were never there, did you ever care?

You’re suppose to be my rock but THAT you are not!

 

You leave to feel free and just return as you please

Yes, my life is so different without you in it

 

I pray to forgive, just so that I can live

Hate is a sin, so I guess you win?

 

I write this poem alone in my bedroom at home

A bottle of red wine has opened this heart of mine

 

I’ll regret nothing knowing you left me something

What little it is can be made a short list:

 

A future full of hope because I learned to cope

A past far behind because it’s distanced with time

And a present that’s okay because tomorrow’s a new day

 

This was all about you, and that’s the honest truth…

 

(I tried to proof read this poem before publishing it, but that’s hard to do after drinking a bottle of wine) Cheers…

Love Always Alicia

A poem I wrote about: LOVE

Alicia Smith

LiveJournal Tags:

“LOVE”

Love can heal, even when it can hurt

Love seems easy, but Love is work

You work so hard to find true Love

When Love finds you… thank God above

 

Love is confusing but starts out simple

Love takes time, even when it’s nimble

Patience is a virtue; in virtue you grow

When time tells all, soon you will know

 

That Love is kind; keeps others in mind

Love is a light, even to those who are blind

Love never lies and will always try

Love is life till the day you die…

Rescue Mission Benefit Show

Alicia Smith

Thank you to everyone who came out to the show last night at Trevecca Nazarene University! There were a lot of talented performers on stage entertaining a great crowd for a great cause! All the proceeds from ticket sales and concession sales went towards the Rescue Mission that helps people who are in need of a place to sleep, a meal, and clothing. It was a respectable cause to donate my talent to… I am blessed to be able to bless others.

LiveJournal Tags:

Poem to my dear friend Ashley Prince (July 14, 1987-Sept 30, 2006)

Alicia Smith

LiveJournal Tags:

Directly from my Personal Home Journal

Ashley Nicole Prince was a little sister to me. I love her and her family very much. Our families are very close. When she passed away on the morning of September 30, 2006 at her home in Lexington, Kentucky with her newborn son Max quietly sleeping in the bassinette next to her bed; she left many dear to her with a hole in their heart that could never be filled. Only support from each other and time could help adjust life without Ashley for her family and closest friends.

I want to thank Ashley for sparking passion and a never ending drive into my life. Because of her, a life I once thought was only a childhood fantasy of mine is my only reality I will allow myself to face. That reality is music. No matter where my journey in this entertainment industry leads me, I will always live my life doing what I discovered I can’t live without… Music

The poem I wrote displayed at her funeral:

“We Will Meet Again”

The day had come, the day had left

Your life was cut short with a silent death

You always knew someday you’d pass

Never to know, your youth was your last

We all loved you, and we all cared

We pray you knew, we hope you were aware

You’re in a place where there is no pain

Leaving us behind, with nothing the same

Great mother, daughter, sister, and friend

In Heaven we know we will meet again

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